Yesterday, Dumnito Assholini, ruler of the TRashdUMP Party, experienced an overwhelming desire for media attention, most of which is now being captured by MVP and Tim Walz. He snapped his fingers and summoned lazy members of the useless conservative press to his Florida hideout, Mar El Loco, for what was supposed to be a press conference - one of those events where reporters gather to ask serious questions about policy and Assholini answers them in detail.
Actually, what Assholini refers to as press conferences are usually extended monologues (an hour or more), during which he tries ignoring questions and instead entertains the press gathering with tall tales made up at the moment, or redundant lies that he's been telling for months.
Assholini is on the edge of being a complete mental case who believes anything he says is absolutely true because he is god-like. For example, yesterday Assholini was discussing his TRashdUMP Party base, which he estimates is 75% of the population of the United States. The waste of turds exists in a fantasy world, isolated from reality.
Bottom line: He was born a pig, and he'll continue to be a pig right up until the last minute of the last hour of his final day.
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