Majorities

Republicans have not won a majority of the popular vote in five of the last six presidential elections (1992-2012). Yesterday, Democrats gained seats in the Senate. The evidence seems to indicate that the GOP is a minority party when it comes to elections for federal office. Apparently the Democrats won the total vote in the 435 elections for the House of Representatives, but the Republican Party held onto their majority. How can that be ? One word answer: gerrymandering.

Choice

The election will no longer be a referendum on Obama, we're told; it will be an election about choice. The change apparently came after it became obvious voters like Obama more than they like Willard. We'd see this new focus in the debate, Paul Ryan said.

People who actually know something about politics disagree that Romney's debate performance made this election about choice. Romney is abandoning the hardcore right-wing, Paul Ryan/Tea Party agenda as fast as his little tongue will allow him to dodge the questions. Movement conservatives want this election to be about their vision versus Obama's vision. Instead, good ole Moderate Massachusetts Mormon Mitt is NOW selling himself as a slightly more conservative version of Obama. Romneycare? Good. Regulation of the financial industry? Good. Tax cuts for the wealthy? Bad. Investment in education? Good. Medicare? Good. Compromise with Democrats? Good. And on and on and on.

The only question remaining is whether Romney is really liberating himself and returning to his fundamental moderate nature, or just continuing to prostitute himself for votes.

Fraud Update

Here's how bad things are when it comes to voting fraud in this country: Illegal immigrants are pretending to be citizens and answering telephone calls from political polling organizations like Gallup and Rasmussen.

Shrinking

My favorite math is Electoral College math.

The stories making the rounds on the Internet are that Willard is pulling his advertising in the media markets of Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania. Usually a move like that is a concession by a campaign that a state is no longer in play. Is this some kind of bluff?

Chill out

Okay, boys, now is not the time to get overconfident.

Fables

Reading news reports about the GOP national convention and how it's being tailored to appeal to Hispanics, I'm reminded of the fable about the dog in the manger. Republicans don't really want Hispanics/Latinos; they just don't want Democrats to have them.

Return of the neo-cons?

I received an e-mail today from my bro regarding Republican prospects for capturing control of the Senate in the November election. I replied that I've been assuming the GOP will control Congress in 2013, and I'm hoping Obama can get the 270 EC votes to keep government divided (more or less). It wouldn't bother me to see Obama veto every bill that was passed on a GOP party-line vote for two years, then see where things stood in the 2014 midterm elections.

This caused me to think about worst-case scenarios: Romney in the White House, Republicans with majorities in the House and Senate, Supreme Court 5-4 in favor of the GOP. That's the way the deck was stacked in 2001, and everyone can remember where that got us. Would we be headed for a semi-instant replay with Romney at the top of a GOP-controlled federal government ? I recalled reading that Willard is assembling a foreign policy team that includes some of the PNAC crowd from the Bush 43 administration. Well, that can't be good.

Cheese Heads

Scott Walker survived the recall election in Wisconsin and held onto the governorship, and conservative Republicans in Texas are celebrating in orgasmic frenzies. Apparently Walker's victory signifies that Obama will definitely lose to Romney in November. That's what has them dancing and tossing confetti, at any rate.

Chutzpah

Willard Romney accuses Obama of being willing to say anything it takes to be re-elected.

Seriously, does that asshole really want to introduce THAT line of discussion at THIS point in the campaign? The guy who makes John Kerry look like a paragon of steadfastness, whose pandering and shape-shifting is being ridiculed by his own party these days? He wants to go THERE?

Sleazeball

Willard Romney wants to be president so badly that he'll say absolutely anything to try and win a few extra votes. Pandering, always disgusting, looks especially bad when Willard does it because he makes it so obvious. The sad thing is, as repulsive as he appears, he's still not as bad as Gingrene or Sanitarium. It's hard for me to believe now, but only a few months ago I thought Willard would steamroll his way to the GOP nomination and bulldoze Obama in the general election.

Smiles

The bad news is that Gangrene Gingrich won the South Carolina primary. That's bad news because Newter is such a repulsive POS that it pisses me off to see him as happy and as full of himself as he is tonight. Fuck him.

The good news is that Rick Sanitorium is one step closer to the exit door. One by one, the religious fanatics are being culled out and that's a good thing for America.

On the Democratic side, I'm having a problem finding a liberal blog that seems to be upset about Gangrene's big win. That may be because Mittens has long been perceived as the Republican that would put Obama out onto the street and give the GOP total control of the federal government again. Now that the Anybody But Mitt voters have decided to congeal like snot around the Blast from the Past, Romney's in deep shit. He may still win the nomination, but it'll be a street brawl from now until he does. But the real smiles are probably over the prospect of drawing Gangrene as the November opponent.

After back-to-back defeats in 2006 and 2008, the Republicans looked into their souls for about 20 seconds of introspection and decided they lost (a) due to voter fraud, and (b) because they weren't conservative enough. They corrected the first problem with a lot of new voter ID laws, and the rise of the tea people convinced them they had solved the second problem.

Obama's had the look of a one-and-done. His best shot at a second term would be if he lucked out and the Republicans nominated someone who would make the incumbent president look like the safest choice -- the lesser of two evils. Could they possibly be THAT stupid ?

Laziness and Lying Mother----ers

Obama recently said Americans are lazy, so he's pathetic (according to Little Ricky) and doesn't understand the American people (according to Mittenful). There are plenty of reasons to criticize Obama, but this isn't one of them. Republicans are getting desperate, and Perrito may be the most desperate of them all. That lying motherfucker is an embarrassment to the whole fucking state of Texas, and possibly the human race. As for Mittenful, it's harder to figure him out. I keep thinking he has the character and stature to tower over lowlife pieces of shit like Perrito, Sugar Cain, and Moochele, but instead he keeps trying to belly-crawl around in their cesspool.

Keep it simple, stupid.

Slate has a brief analysis worth reading. It deals with the pizza guy's attractiveness to GOP primary voters which boils down to this: Herman is appealing because his ideas are simple and easy to understand. If there's one sure thing in life, it's that conservatives love simple solutions to complicated problems. High gasoline bills got you down ? No problem, just open up ANWR to drilling. Terrorism causing problems ? No sweat. You're either with us or against us. Saddam is not with us, so let's take him out. End of problem. Unemployment ? Stop worrying, my friend. Cut taxes and we'll have more new jobs than workers to fill 'em. Too many Mexicans crossing the border ? Just fence off a few thousand miles.

For conservatives, it's a black-and-white world, and people who see things in shades of grey really piss them off. That would include nearly all liberal Democrats. Personally, I'm a shades of grey guy and I prefer to vote for people who don't try to bullshit me with short answers to long questions.

Played

Well, the guy many Republicans were relying on to lead them to glorious victory won't be riding a white stallion next year after all. Christie decided it wasn't his time, whatever that means. I need a GOP candidate that I can stomach to emerge and take control of this clusterfuck, but the truth is there aren't many Republicans who fit that description -- and the ones who do either can't get traction (Huntsman) or won't run to begin with. Maybe before I die, there'll be a GOP presidential nominee that I can vote for enthusiastically.

C'mon in, the water's fine...

The latest campaign headlines involve Governor Chris Christie, who is apparently reconsidering a run for the White House next year. The Wall Street Journal explains why so many Republicans want this dude to jump in. I've seen Christie on TV and if he does jump into the pool of candidates, he'll make a big splash. That's a play on words, since President Christie would bring physical proportions to the presidency not seen since the days of Chester A. Arthur or William Howard Taft.

According to the WSJ article, Republicans have suddenly realized they have a real shot at winning the White House in 2012 after all, since Obama's spent most of 2011 watching his job approval ratings sink like a stone. If there's a chance to hold the House AND capture a Senate majority AND win the presidency... well hell, that would put the GOP back in complete control of the federal government, the position they occupied in January 2001. That didn't work out too well for the party or the country, so this time they want to do it right. I interpret that to mean they don't want another goober asshole from the Lone Star State mucking around.

I don't know much about Christie. Based on the little I do know, I would probably rank him behind Huntsman as a prospective Republican president, but ahead of Romney. Huntsman and I have roughly equal chances at being the next president, though, and I won't be surprised the day he announces he's done. Palin is apparently through as a serious political figure, and Bachmann has had her ten minutes in the spotlight, so I'm now firmly in the ANYBODY BUT PERRY camp. Christie's a wide load, and if he can push Perrito off the road and into the ditch, I'm completely in favor of it.

Just decide already !

There was a GOP straw poll in Florida this weekend, and Jimmy Dick was expected to win since he's hot, hot, hot and his campaign had devoted its resources to the effort. Instead, Herman the pizza guy won. Herman has some peculiar ideas, one of which is that somehow he's qualified to be president. Anyway, some people are saying the straw poll results are a sign that El Perrito is fading as a result of his debate appearance last week -- which left a distinct impression that he's just another Texas goober with an ego.

Republicans are beginning to remind me of a bunch of third-graders in a candy store... they can't decide which gooey treat to piss away their allowances on.

Added 11:18 pm: Meanwhile, former flavor-of-the-week Michele Bachmann is still lurking in the shadows. That bimbo hasn't made the headlines in a while, and I'd almost forgotten about her.

Assholery

From all indications, the tea party people are packing the audience at Republican debates with nose-picking, semi-literate assholes who erupt with applause any time El Perrito is asked to explain something stupid he said. On television, this creates the illusion that a worthless fuck with an expensive haircut is wildly popular -- or at least that seems to be the goal.

Somehow I've lived in Texas for all the years Perry has been in state government and can't recall seeing him on TV or ever hearing his voice. Now that he's infecting national politics like a plague, I've reached this conclusion: Imagine George W. Bush without his sophistication, his wit, and his breathtaking intelligence, and what's left is Ricky Perry.

Huntsman

Talking Points Memo says that Jon Huntsman isn't as moderate as he could be. Okay, point taken. He would still be a shitload better than Perry, Bachmann, or any of the other asswipes running for the GOP nomination.

All aboard...

This week, El Perrito implied that Ben Bernanke was a traitor and possibly guilty of treason. This created a bit of a stir among the few intelligent people keeping up with the 2012 election campaign. Frankly, I'm glad Perrito said it and has so far refused to recant. Perry seems bound and determined to play the part of a shit-kicking good ole Texas boy, just as his predecessor did. The more Perrito reminds moderate American voters of George W. Bush, the less likely he is to win the election next year.

It should come as no real surprise that Sarah Palin is throwing in her two cents worth in support of the Rickster. Palin may be positioning herself for an invitation to join Perrito as his running mate after he knocks off her main party rival. Michele Bachmann has crowded Palin out of the spotlight as the rightwing religious fanatic with sex appeal, and it must be pissing her off. A Perrito/Palin ticket would be a dream come true for the goobers, the media would eat it up, and it would keep Palin on magazine covers a few more months.   

The good thing

For weeks, El Perrito has been behaving like a diva, teasing the media with coy hints and suggestions about his candidacy in 2012. Those jackoffs eat it up with spoons. My feeling all along has been that Perrito was already running, but would withhold any formal announcement until two conditions were met: first, that he was positive he would win the GOP nomination, and second, that he was highly likely to defeat Obama in November 2012. A diva like Perrito couldn't handle the humiliation of a defeat in either the primary or the general election.

That's not to say that Perrito will actually BE the next president, only that that HE'S sure he will be. If he's correct, the worst thing is that from all indications, he'll make G.W. Bush look like one of the nation's better presidents by comparison. The best thing ? Well, it's almost impossible to think of an advantage to a Perrito presidency, but I came up with one -- I'll be able to condense PRESIDENT RICK into PRICK, which will save space when I write about the relentless string of disasters following his inauguration.

Added 11:22 pm, same day: If there's any justice in this world, Perry and Bachmann will rip each other to shreds in the ultimate diva brawl, allowing Mittenful to escape with the nomination and me to sleep peacefully for the next 12 months or so.