April's Over, May Has Arrived

Although there are five separate blogs in the family, they aren't particularly diversified. Most of the content deals with my personal opinions concerning current political news, or my viewpoints regarding college football, especially Texas A&M. 

Football season is still a few months away, and it'll be interesting to write about since Jimbo Fisher has been replaced as A&M head coach and two more refugees from the Big 12 conference will be assimilated by the SEC. That leaves politics as the (only) discussion topic in the month of May. 

Unfortunately for me, there have been some unsettling situations in my personal life recently that are very distracting. The tragic reality is that allowing the Waste of Shit to serve a single term as so-called precedent enabled that worthless turd collector to gain control of what was once the Republican Party, which in turn has allowed him to make it an organization serving Vladimir Putin's foreign policy agenda (degrading and weakening the United States from within).

Bottom line here is this: Reading the latest political news when my mind is preoccupied with other more immediate concerns is depressing. For example, the Waste of Shit probably has no idea what stochastic terrorism is, and can't pronounce "stochastic." That doesn't keep him from engaging in it constantly with few penalties (if any).

A Fact

People who're stupid enough to be comforted by the lies Meat Mound tells them deserve everything they get. The meat mound protects himself, then maybe Ivanka. That's it.

Added 1:09 PM Friday: Fox News with another knee to the groin for Meat Mound.

Unqualified

Even if loyal Americans wanted a dictator who was totally above the law - which we goddamn sure don't - The Dump would be the wrong guy for the job.

No place for you here, motherfucker.

Quid pro quo

I've spent time the last few days looking at how the pieces of the puzzle fit together, and based on what has been reported so far, here's what looks plausible to me:

• Donny Strunz has been entangled with Russian power figures for years, mainly in money laundering operations and similar criminal activities. They know him well.
• When Donny first starts talking about running for president, the Russians realize he could be used to give them significant control over U.S. politics and government.
• The deal is simple: Donny craves the power, prestige and media attention that come with being president, and also sees the office as a potential money-making enterprise that will enable him to channel funds from the federal treasury into his business organization.
• In return, Putin gets the tool he needs to diminish the U.S. as a dominant world power, reshape American foreign policy to benefit Russia, and create chaos and conflict by separating Americans into pro-Donny and anti-Donny factions.
• Pulling the U.S. out of alliances, treaties, trading partnerships, etc. makes Russia stronger by making everyone else weaker.  
• The pact Strunz and Putin make regarding the 2016 election is a textbook example of a quid pro quo transaction. But these guys are not equal partners, since they both know Putin can destroy Donny any time it suits his purposes to do so. 

Added 5:35 PM: Donny Strunz found out he can manipulate the stock market. All it takes is the right tweet at the right time. Money in the bank.

Real Presidents

All five of the living presidents were gathered in College Station today: Carter, Bush 41, Clinton, Bush 43, and Obama. I'd be happy to see any one of them replace Ass Lube, who doesn't deserve to be included in the group, and shouldn't be recognized as anything other than a make-believe president until absolutely conclusive proof is released that there was no Russian interference in the election of any kind. In other words, never.

Reminder

Here's your Daily Reminder for Tuesday 18 April:

If you're employed in a government job at any level and your personal religious beliefs make it uncomfortable for you to handle the duties of the position, you need to resign immediately and find work in the private sector. Everyone will be much happier after you're gone.

Expectations

I believe liberals realize that government has a role in their lives, and want to elect people who are more qualified than themselves to manage the numerous activities that governments perform. My personal expectation of government is that people who are smarter and more experienced than I am will make decisions designed to preserve or improve the quality of my life.

Since that's what I expect, there's no fucking way I could vote for the gutter trash who are running the Republican Party now. Most of them are so incompetent it's embarrassing, and some are just in it to line their own pockets.  Obviously, Republican voters are attracted to someone who thinks like a 9th grader and communicates like a 4th grader. Someone like them, in other words.

Dark Days

I've seen Internet speculation that the so-called president's reaction to his Muslim ban being blocked by federal judges may be more than the usual temper tantrum pitched by a spoiled brat who isn't getting his way. By warning that the judges will be personally responsible for the next terrorist attack, Fatso could be setting the stage for a phony terrorist event -- something to turn the public against the judicial system, and increase support for his authoritarian agenda.

Normally, I'd immediately laugh at this kind of speculation as a ridiculous conspiracy theory or something out of The Onion. Now, after what we've seen so far, it doesn't seem so implausible. After all, stuff like that has worked before (Germany in the 1930's), and the guy thinks everything is one big reality TV show with him as its star.

It's sad (and scary) when I have to pause and say, "Well, anything's possible now."

Whims?

In the simple world of simple-minded conservatives, everything that conflicts with their reactionary view of how things ought to be results from someone's capricious (often sinful) whim, and therefore should not be tolerated.. 

Staying Positive

If Mrs Clinton is elected and all the Republicans who hate her commit ritual suicide in protest, there'll be more soda pop for the rest of us. Hooray for soda pop!

Natural laws of superiority

There's an established school of thought in this country that politically conservative white American males are naturally superior in every respect to females, non-whites, liberals, and other nationalities. These beliefs are primarily held by conservative white American men, who get extremely pissy when they aren't allowed to make all the decisions.

Picking at scabs

In the recent midterm elections, the voter turnout nationally has been estimated at just under 30 percent. Assuming winning Republican candidates averaged about 55 percent of the vote, roughly 16 percent of eligible voters actually cast  ballots in favor of a Republican. Right-wing nose pickers conclude that this represents a massive transformation of the American electorate in favor of radical tea party conservatism, when all it actually suggests is that 84 percent of American voters prefer a party other than the GOP or don't care much one way or the other.

If you want to see something funny, tell a cranky old white conservative that he doesn't really have a sweeping mandate and watch his reaction.

Life after TV

Skimming through news feeds today, I discovered that John Ratzenberger, the actor who played Cliff on the sitcom Cheers, is a hardcore conservative now. Maybe he was then, too. That's kinda sad because I liked that show the first few years it was on. Then I learned that Wayne Rogers, who was one of the actors on M*A*S*H, is also a wealthy conservative who now appears on the Fox Business Channel. Makes no difference to me because I only watched about four episodes of M*A*S*H the entire time it was shown. The liberals still have George Clooney, I think, but then his career is still humming along.

Anniversary

This looks like an excellent article that I'll try to read later, when I don't have so many things on my plate. Without having read it, I'll throw out an unsolicited opinion that one reason there haven't been any more terrorist attacks on U.S. soil is simple logistics. Why go halfway around the world to kill Americans, when all you have to do is walk across the street ? So maybe invading Iraq was a bad idea with unintended consequences, but it made targets much easier to find for people whose primary goal in life is inflicting fatal wounds.

Added 4:20 pm, same day -- After skimming the article, it seems like what I just said is similar to one of the official expert theories. In the text, it's referred to as the flypaper theory. So mine's not an original thought, but it seems like a good enough explanation to me.

Definitions

The conservative definition of pork barrel spending is an appropriation that benefits somebody they don't like, and their definition of socialism is spending tax money on anything they don't agree with. My definition of irony is a 300-pound Republican with a pack of cigarettes in his shirt pocket, yelling about America's health care needs at a town hall meeting.

Opposite ends of the scale

Thoughts on Bill O'Reilly and Squeaky the Chicago Mouse

As a general rule, I don't pay attention to Bill O'Reilly, who seems like just another loud conservative with possible degenerate tendencies. But I came across a link to the column above and since it was written by Roger Ebert, decided to check it out. Roger Ebert has had health problems I don't envy, but he gets paid, presumably quite well, to watch movies and write about them. In my world, he therefore has maybe the best of all possible jobs. Believe it or not, I never go to see a movie in a theater without reading Ebert's review first. For several years, I tried to catch his television show with Gene Siskel every Sunday night. So, yes, I guess I'm a fan. When I rate people from 1 to 10 based on their value to human civilization, Roger Ebert gets a 9.95 and Billy O comes in at roughly 0.00004.

Wednesday weakly

The frontpage headline in today's local paper: Bush bailout stalls in Senate. Which just goes to show that once in a while a little good news can pop up, too.

There are things being discussed in the news that tell us everything we need to know if we'll just look hard enough. The clues are there. At the top of the list is that most Repubs in congress don't seem to want to touch their president's bailout plan with a 20-foot pole. That should be a sign to the Dems to slow down the game on this deal. Better yet, do the smart thing and add so many conditions (such as drastic cuts in CEO bonus packages) that Goober pulls the plan off the table himself. Added 12:54 pm: Several political blogs report leaders of both parties in congress agree that Speedo must vote in favor of the bailout or the plan is dead. This move is shrewder than I usually expect from the Dems. Maybe there's hope for them after all.

Another clue is that Speedo's campaign is continuing to keep Mayberry Barbie hidden away from the news media. Hell, Joe Biden makes at least one really boneheaded remark per day but Obama isn't trying to hide him (yet). Biden's latest fuckup is his remark that FDR went on television to explain things to the people when The Great Depression hit. Wrong on at least two significant details, but WTF. Mayberry spent a few minutes with the president of Afghanistan talking about the names of their kids, and this is supposed to polish her foreign policy credentials. The sooner she's shipped back to Moosefart, Alaska, the better.

Finally, the GOP is trying to pin the rap for the financial market crisis on Clinton. Bill had a Repub congress for his last six years and has been out of office for eight. Conservatives blaming Clinton for everything rotten that's happened during Goober's two terms has gotten to be totally predictable, but they still try it because apparently it works.

Added 2:30 pm: Mayberry is quoted by the AP this afternoon as saying America may be headed for another Great Depression if congress fails to take action on the bailout proposal. Explain to me again why anyone gives a shit what this bimbo thinks.

Hey, bro. This one's for you...

Mrs. bee left on her long-planned Colorado trip this morning, and I'll have the place to myself for several days. I feel like an old, retired version of Tom Cruise in the movie Risky Business. Unlike Tom, I doubt if I'll get in any trouble, but I do plan to make a nice dent in that stack of R-rated DVDs I've been stockpiling. First on the list is There Will Be Blood, and I'll probably follow that with The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford. Before the week's over, I also need to see No Country For Old Men again. I'll try to fit in three movies per day. Anyway, I'm slightly giddy with anticipation, as they say, and in the mood for a little juvenile behavior.

My bro in Houston is the only person I know that I agree with on most things. He's also the only regular reader of the jailbee blogs and when I write, I try to keep in mind he may be reading. Yesterday we exchanged e-mails discussing the election and possible scenarios for the next four years, and somewhere in there he mentioned that he was waiting to see what moniker I would attach to Sarah Palin. Hell, I'd barely heard of her, and damned sure didn't know enough to give her a nickname.

But I thought about it and realized that around here, McCain has THREE nicknames: Ace, Top Gun, and Speedo. In the interest of gender equity, his ticketmate needs at least one. So, in a fit of Saturday morning juvenile behavior, here it is:

Sarah Palin = S.P. = beauty contest participant = SP = Sweet Pea = Pea, Mrs. Pea, etc. So Sweet Pea it shall be. Hope Pea does something about that hairdo. And bro, this one's for you.

Cultural decay

Tonight a person I can normally depend on included me on the mailing list for one of those viral internet chain letters that I think of as part of the dry rot in American culture. This one was from some sick rightwing fuck calling himself Dr. Jack Wheeler, and was a few paragraphs of the kind of diseased anti-Obama filth that I've been trying to avoid for nearly a year now.

To me, sending out unsolicited chain letters by e-mail is as rude and offensive as carrying on a personal cell phone conversation in a public place. Unfortunately, rudeness has become as much a part of American daily life as football and apple pie. Receiving the chain letter in itself was offensive, and the content just made it worse. It would've pissed me off any time I checked my inbox and skimmed that text, but it so happened I'd just finished watching Obama's speech to the DNC accepting the party's nomination. There was nothing about Obama or his speech that scared or worried me; in fact, I thought it was up to the standards of the speeches I heard earlier this week.

I'd planned to record a few of my impressions tonight, but I'm so damned mad I think I'll let it go for now. Dr. Jack Wheeler is forty feet of shit in a 12-inch tube, but there are evidently people in the market for what he's selling and trying to win converts to their cause. I have no use for those dimbulbs, and I don't need them leaving their garbage on my doorstep.

So, was it Ted Turner ?

I thought it over and decided Ted Turner may be responsible for my lousy disposition this summer. I need someone to pin the blame on, so maybe it's Ted Turner.

Turner is generally given credit for the creation of CNN, the first 24-hour cable news channel. It seemed like a neat idea at the time, but CNN was possibly the origin of the media monster that's eating up intelligence in America in big gulps.

CNN's success led to the creation of FNC and MSNBC and eventually to an insatiable demand for crap to occupy all those hours of viewing time. There's not enough serious "real" news to fill up 504 hours per week (24/7 x three cable channels), so bullshit like Ace's Britney Spears/Paris Hilton ad gets rehashed for hours as if it were something that's actually important. Add the sexual components, which have real lowest-common-denominator appeal, and things get even worse. Three cable news channels are all over this shit around the clock, so the broadcast networks and print media are compelled to toss in their own coverage... rather than be left standing outside the circus tent.

Because Americans are conditioned from childhood to believe that it must be important if it's on television, trivia becomes the topic of conversation all across the country. People stop asking themselves why they're wasting time on insignificant bullshit. Brain cells atrophy and die. Civilization declines.

Bottom line: For the time being, I'm blaming Ted.