Speculation

I've never cared much for stormwatching unless the storm in question was directly overhead, so I haven't spent much time trying to follow the news since last Friday. The one story that has held my interest somewhat is Ace's choice of Sweet Pea as his running mate. How did that particular woman end up on the ticket ? The internet's blazing with speculation, and what follows is a summary of a few theories that are circulating.

First theory: Ace wrapped up the GOP nomination months ago, and has had weeks of spare time to decide who he wants to run with. After all those weeks of careful deliberation, Sweet Pea was the name he came up with as the best possible VP nominee.

Second theory: Ace really wanted to run with one of his buddies, preferably Joe Lieberman. The powers-that-be in the Repub party told him to forget that shit; Ace got royally pissed off and chose Sweet Pea out of spite.

Third theory: The evangelunicals, who still flex muscle in the Republican Party, love Sweet Pea. She's one of them, after all, and checks out A+ on every one of their pet issues. The evangelunicals basically called Ace in, stood him at attention, and told him how it was gonna be. Ace made the announcement himself strictly as a formality.

Fourth theory: Ace still dreams about the good old days when everyone was calling him The Maverick, and made a wildass impulse pick just to stir up memories of how it used to feel.

If any of these theories is remotely credible, we've got a problem. The first theory casts doubt on Ace's judgment, the second and fourth cast doubt on his ability to behave calmly, intelligently, and rationally in pressure situations, and the third indicates that he doesn't have the guts to take on the religious conservatives. No good possibilities in the bunch. Suckitude on a massive scale.

Added 4:28 pm on 3 September: Of the four theories mentioned above, the one that seems probable to me is Number Three. Ace is not only chickenshit, he's gutless too.