I wasn't paying much attention when I took the mail from the box, but I noticed a plain white envelope that was relatively thick and looked like some kind of official business. I spotted the word "Census" in the address window, and without thinking, decided it was from the United States Census Bureau.
When I opened it, instead of a federal census questionnaire I pulled out a form letter from RNC chairman Michael Steele on letterhead reading "2009 Congressional District Census."
Michael informed me that I had been specially selected as one of a few Republican representatives from the 17th Congressional District to complete and return an important survey, and that my response would be critical as the party devises its winning strategies for 2010, based on building state-of-the-art grassroots organizations in every district. I was encouraged to include a generous donation of 500 dollars or so when I mailed the "census" questionnaire back to RNC headquarters.
My immediate reaction was, "Fuck you, motherfucker." Then I recalled that completing census forms is a civic responsibility, so I decided to do my duty. The enclosed four-page survey was full of questions like, " Does the fact that Democrats are in full control of the federal government worry you ? " Lots of multiple choice questions, answered by checking off "YES" or "NO" or "NO OPINION" blocks.
Without wasting time on the details of my responses, the RNC now has to wonder why a Texas Republican is in favor of everything Obama and the Dems are doing, and against every idea the GOP has come up with during the past 30 years or so. And why he printed GFY in big red letters on the section of the form about immediate and future donations to the Republican Party.
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