Friday, April 22, 2011

My latest sad story

Here's what life is like in my world: If I find a shady place to park in the summer, when I return to my car it'll be covered with bird shit. If I wash my car to remove the bird shit, it will rain. The cleaner I get my car, the sooner the rain will begin.

This week I went to a memorial service at our church, and the turnout was so large I had to park on a dirt lot under some shade trees. Sure enough, there were droppings on the hood and roof when I came out an hour later. Now my car and Mrs. bee's were both decorated with bird shit splatters.

We've been burning up in a drought lately, and my wife just fertilized the yard for summer. Since we desperately need rain, I devoted much of the day to giving both cars a thorough wash and vacuum, and spiffing them up with vinyl care, tire cleaner, even a partial wax job. Worked about three hours in the sun, which should produce rain within two days.

I was nearing the end of the car washing chore when I blinked the sunscreen on my cheeks into both eyes. That happens, which is why I try to avoid applying sunscreen to my face. Anyway, my eyes were still burning and watering when I went to the rack on the side of the house to hang up the hose, and I didn't notice the wasp nest being constructed on the underside of the hose rest. One of the little motherfuckers shot out and stung me below the right eye. I wish he hadn't. Anyway, it pissed me off and I exterminated the bastards in the time it took me to locate a can of spray.

We'd better get a good rainfall out of the deal, that's all I have to say.

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